Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
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