But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
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