There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
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