so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
Just woke up in bed, AC on high, with a fresh pack of smokes, an unopened pint of vodka, and a bag w a beef patty w cheese in it. I think my roommate's like the toothfairy or something. Or that was way more Xanax than I needed.
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
Randomize
