: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
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