Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
Randomize
