Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
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