ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
Sacagawea was the original milf.
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
Randomize
