My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
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