How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
we're so committed to being not committed
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
Randomize
