I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
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