party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
Randomize
