Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
I could make wine with my vomit
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
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