so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
Randomize
