her voice is like 435,765 daggers being simultaneously twisted into my eardrum
i'd rather just be hit by a car than answer her phone calls
Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
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