Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
Randomize
