ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize
