i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
i think my cat just said my name.
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
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