no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
