How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
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