the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
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