Don't you send me to vm
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
Randomize
