i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
Randomize
