i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
Randomize
