I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
is that a dick in a sweater?
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
Randomize
