This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Randomize
