Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
Randomize
