Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦ðŸ¼â€â™€ï¸
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
Randomize
