So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
Randomize
