You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
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