Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
Randomize
