Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
Randomize
