jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
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