just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
Randomize
