he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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