My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
Randomize
