she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
Found your dick twin last night
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
Randomize
