I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
I'm drunk
Is that why you're texting me
Yes
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
Never joke about your clitoris.
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
Randomize
