Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
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