I swear to god Kristen, if this "cute" guy you are trying to hook up with's friend asks me if we can role play, and I play his mother one more time, Im leaving. You have 3 minutes to save me or I am out.
You smell like a Billy Joel song
Do vagina's smell?
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
Randomize
