Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
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