he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
Randomize
