mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
So my grandma sent me a valentines day present of waterproof mascara, tissues, and chocolate. Way to reinforce that I'll be single and depressed on valentines day. Thanks grandma.
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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