The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
Randomize
