DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
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