I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
Randomize
