You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
Randomize
