Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
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