At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
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