Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
Randomize
