hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
When did angry sex become our thing?
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
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