u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
Randomize
