I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
Randomize
