I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
Randomize
