He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
Randomize
