i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
Randomize