Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
Well apparently he's into motor boating.
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
Randomize
