yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
We're facebook friends in real life
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
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