In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
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